Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Viva la Zizou!




Its been a little over a decade since I became an unconditional disciple of this supremely humble, unforgivingly modest human being by the name of Zinedine Zidane.


An exact decade ago he scored this endearingly mesmerizing, irrevocably magnificent, saturatingly overwhelming, brilliantly miraculous, unbelievably heart stopping goal that single handed deserved to crown Réal Madrid Champions of Europe.


To be awfully honest I never grew up as a football fan. I like the common mindless population considered Cricket to be the religion that I had to follow though I didn’t play much of it or watch it. Most of my primary evenings were spent in travelling because my School was quite a bit far from where I stayed and living in quite a staunch orthodox family meant there was no television. Also, evenings were exclusively earmarked for prayers nothing else was allowed, not evening sitting idle.


In the summer of 1998, the FIFA World cup was held in France, I was completely oblivious of it. I was oblivious of any event that took place outside a one hundred meter radius. But this was a year of change; the school had decided that they would stretch the timings by 90 minutes to accommodate for extra periods to fit in additional subjects and game hours. This is the year that as far as my memory goes; I remember kicking a football for the first time in the crazy, sweltering heat of summer afternoons in Chennai. The stretching of school timings also meant that I had to wait with Saniya a good forty – five minutes before we were picked up and that gave me more time to play. In the hindsight I sometimes do feel that I should have spent a little more time with Saniya but then again I was a kid back then and adrenaline won the race for of the hormones by miles.


I won my first medal in 1999 when I was in Sixth grade. It was a Gold in the 4x100 meters relay that I started. This will be one of the fondest memories of my childhood. That year was fleetingly quick; I had additional subjects in Arabic, Tamil and French. I think I spent most of the time behind books although I cannot confirm that because even as a child I do not remember sitting down with books with the solemn purpose of studying!


The millennia came at the speed of fast-forward of a cassette player. Dad was posted to Bangalore and I came to live with my parents. We bought a new Tele and then there was this evil thing called Cable. I became addicted to it; there was just one thing I would watch – Football.


The 2002 FIFA World Cup was the first football world event that I saw on TV. I still have the paper cutting from the newspapers and there was this talk about this particular player who France desperately needed but he was injured so he couldn’t play. I saw in the pictures how the Les Bleus desperately wanted him back with huge banners reading ‘Zizou Come Back’ on display during French games. There was a frightful desperation in the fans plead.


This triggered an almost incomprehensible liking towards this player. I was so impressed by him that I swapped my position from LS to CAM. I began enjoying the game more than ever and have continued to do so. The impact this one soul had on a twelve year old kid who was barely able to keep his feet on the ground even while walking was immense that I have waited eleven long years to find words substantial enough to describe them and yet I have failed. Perhaps this piece at FIFA.COM written fluidly is enough to explain the effect it has had on me.


His last game for Réal was one of the emotional low points for me. I could have given anything to be at Bérnabau that historic evening to witness my idol play for one last time but I had to console myself in front of a screen. Then came the World Cup 2006, where he single handedly took France to the Finals. A colossal testament of the man’s talent who during his early days was rejected by his Coach in Algiers.


A Legend. A Superstar. A Genius. A Human. A Phenomenon.


Merci beaucoup Zizou!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Vicious Cycle



Branches relive,
Agony every autumn,
To relive a spring,
Only to shed again.


Thursday, April 12, 2012

Insecuritist Twats!



Here is a list of things that all the astounding retarded moronic and annoying insecure douchebags should learn:

1.     The chick doesn’t give a flying fuck about the size of your penis. If your penis is anything more than 2 inches long you’ve got a good deal because the most sensitive area is just 1 inch up the road! Try not to reach to the end of show in the ten seconds of your start and you’ll be fine. You’re not a pornstar to own a mile long dick that’s half a mile across.


2.     If you’re a chick and you don’t want to have sex with anyone who doesn’t have a dick that is a mile long then become a pornstar please, it saves everybody the trouble and you get the prize too.


3.     A vagina is a vagina. Big, small, round, oval, pink, brown, white doesn’t matter. Its there for entertainment and sometimes make those little bastards. If your guy complains about your cunt the best thing you can do is knock the bastard off and send him one of these as a gift.

4.     The color of your face is a direct result of melanin production or lack of it from your genes that you inherited from your parents. No amount of beauty treatment is going to fix that. Agreed, when you use them you feel lighter that’s because it tears off the upper epidermis that is exposed to the environment and exposed the under skin which is relatively fresh. This is the reason why you need to go through the treatment over and over again. Comprende?

5.     Get a LIFE!


Sunday, April 8, 2012

Halá Curator!


I wish things were easy, like the job of a curator. I mean relatively.

I have always found it very fascinating how one puts the pieces of history that albeit following a chronological order are placed into smaller sections of common grounds. I find it very intriguing how despite the distribution into different categories, the pieces still point out to one generic era in time. I find it highly exciting when towards the end all of them point towards the evolution of creativity.
 It interests me how a curator who has built the voluminous knowledge about the artifacts from the very parchments that he is taking care of. I am thoroughly mesmerized by the understanding of a curator for he has only read from the books and not experienced what he knows in person.

Perhaps we should be taking lessons from this very example. Maybe we should read the life we lead to comprehend its experiences from the decisions we have taken. Maybe things would be easy then. I mean relatively.


Saturday, March 31, 2012

Happy Birthday

Stepping into adolescence,
I hope you see bright,
And learn right,
From meaningful insights.

For age’s number,
A number made richer,
By experiences incurred.

Happy Birthday Evlon.